My Mother, I Love You Always!

 

Our precious, strong and lovable mother, Mrs. Teresita L. Palermo has joined our creator last February 9, 2021.  She battled cancer that was so aggressive.  She has survived from mild stroke years earlier.  Even that time, she never stopped loving and caring for everyone.

On the eve before Mama left us, I cried heavily reminiscing all the times that I have with her.  She has done so much for Hazel and me, through joy and pain, success and failures, appreciations and disappointments, to make sure that we will be able to lead better lives on our own.  I had cried nights before, but that night it was really heavy.  It may be because I talked to her much that night, even though I cannot hear her respond.  And I told her that Hazel and I are successful enough that we can stand on our own, that she has nothing to worry.  I was still lucky I still heard her say “I Love You” days before.

I have not expected that the crying I had that night was a sign that she was to leave us.   As my sister Hazel told me, she left us at around 4:40 am.  I wasn’t able to answer my sister’s call.  I even woke up with our Dog heavily around 630 am, like there was someone inside the house.  I only knew later.  The words my sister told me, in exact words, “Kuya, wala na si mama.”

Upon hearing those words, I felt so much pain.  I wasn’t able to come home when she was struggling.  I wasn’t able to assist Hazel in those times.  I wasn’t around in her last few days.  I wasn’t able to say sorry to all the pain that I have caused her.  I wasn’t able to come home for her burial.  And even today on her 40^th day, I am still miles away from her.    

These Covid pandemic times has brought much difficulty.  It has even brought misunderstanding.  I have so much desire to come home.  The health protocols have been a barrier.  Even more, I risk of possibly be a carrier of the virus to be with family.  In the end, I have to endure the pain of not being able to say my goodbyes to mama in her grave, and endure the longingness that I should have been with her at her last moments.

I am very much thankful to Hazel for taking care of Mama.  My bad that I wasn’t able to support her physically.  Every time we talked on the phone, I can feel her struggles.  I salute my sister so much, that I cannot fathom her sacrifices for Mama.  

I will always remember Mama’s legacy, as a mother, grandmother, sister, aunt, friend and co-worker.   Those who supported us from her hospitalization and her funeral shows that she has touched a lot of lives.

While she has left of beautiful memories to everyone, I will always remember her teachings to me that I will always forever carry in my life.

First, in her teaching career, she has devoted much to being a teacher to her students, that she would say always that it is her way of serving the Lord.  She is not interested in joining religious groups, though a lot of invitations have come, even the time she has retired.  For her teaching the subject, and sharing moral values while teaching is her service.  While Hazel and I have gone into teaching, I am the one still in teaching.  Maybe this is her continuing legacy in me, and I do hope I can follow her footsteps to be an inspiration to her students.

Second, she always tell me not to talk too much to prove your worth.  Make your work do the talking, while maintaining foot aground.  People may not appreciate you, or even look down on you, but always maintain focus and do everything with integrity.  You may or may not reap rewards, but what is important is what you did this morally upright.  Thank you so much for this influence Mama.

Third, she was the first to introduce to me the saying “do not do tomorrow what you can do today.”  I followed this saying and up to now, I still practice it. 

Fourth, supporting me what degree to take in College and where.  Even also supporting my first two months of unemployment while pursuing a career in Cebu.

Fifth, and I could say it’s true in my case, she told me that you don’t need to go abroad to earn much to have a house, a car and other things.  Enjoy abroad as vacation plans, not as work plans.

Sixth, her love for classical music.  As she always put to play her favorite collections, I ended up listening and appreciating it too.  I can remember how happy she was that she was able to finally have a copy of a selection that she coveted so much, only to see her cry at the side because I lost it.  That was my first pain I felt from her that I saw her crying.

Seventh, she loves musical movies, theater plays, and even produce her own adaptation in school programs.  For most part, I was her scriptwriter, music arranger and recording specialist.  My sister and cousins were even actors and actresses in some of her plays.

Eighth, her love for short stories with moral values.  She always let me read these stories and let me explain the moral values that I have learned.   One such story that is forever with me is the story of two messengers, where one was asking why the other has a higher salary than his.  It was a story that she stressed that working hard is not enough, but working smart leads you to better fortunes.  I even use this story in one of my classes and seminars.

Ninth, she loves cross stitching.  She always stitches every time she wants to relax from making lesson plan, or just want to have a breather.  She has a lot of finished work.  Some were put on sale, some are still on display at our old house.  I have one of her finished work, and I personally requested that I shall bring it with me in Cebu.

Tenth, I love her cakes and pastries.  She loves to cook.  She has used this as her extra income while Hazel and I were in college.  Mama has given her recipe to Hazel.

Lastly, I will forever be grateful that Mama was with me when I got married.  She dreamed of someday that I will be married and that it would be a Church wedding.  There are some dreams she wants us to achieve, and this is one of those that I have fulfilled.  I will always forever be grateful that she was with me at that time, and accepting Rhea to be part of our family.  I pray mama that you will help us pray that our family will be extended further.

I will always love my mother.  I miss her.  As what I told her that night before she left us, I said to her that I will continue her legacy.  And I will take care of this family in any way I can.

“I Truly Never Learned what the Words “I Miss You”  were until I reached out for Mama’s hand and it wasn’t there.”

See you in Heaven Ma.  Please wait for us!